promiscuous-petal:

enough about sex positions has anyone discovered a reading position which doesn’t get uncomfortable after 5 minutes

(via nerdybutt)

thtwhitegurrl:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?

(via lunsch)


badsunset:

I want you by my side

So that I never feel alone again

They’ve always been so kind

But now they’ve brought you away from me

(via nerdybutt)

  • WiFi: connected
  • Me: then fucking act like it
“Oh no, not again.”

The Bowl of Petunias as it falls out of the sky. (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)

(Source: sjwstupidity, via it-goes-in-my-butt)

babeobaggins:

this is still SO FUNNY

babeobaggins:

this is still SO FUNNY

(Source: dopexchainz, via it-goes-in-my-butt)

voldemortcanyounot:

thebabbagepatch:

fearofpop:

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

I am in physical pain

(via theoddginger)